Change

I know I owe a couple of Waylon update posts and I will deliver but for now I just need to be real. To share what's been on my mind and heart.

For quite some time, I've felt stuck, uninspired, depleted, unsatisfied. Mostly with how I spend my time. Please do not mistake my words to say I'm unsatisfied with my life. At all. Nothing could be further from the truth. What I mean is I'm unsatisfied personally, spiritually. In American society, it's so easy to get caught up in self. It actually takes a TON of effort to avoid it. But honestly it breaks my heart to think that I get so caught up in my own [schedule, job, family, needs, wants] I forget about the rest of the world.

Several months back I began praying for what God would have me to do career wise. I did not feel like I was fulfulling my purpose couped up in an office 8:00-4:30. I honestly felt like I was watching life pass me by, like I was just a bystander. As I continued to pray for help being obedient, God provided daily provisions. He put people in my path who had been exactly where I was. The pastor preached messages on leaving the familiar behind to experience the extraordinary. Life journal Scriptures were pertaining to walking in faith, trusting the Lord to provide. It all hit very, very close to my heart.

This life is not about Stephanie Eldridge. It's not about how comfortable I am. In fact, I have begun to believe that the more comfortable I am, the more in danger I am of becoming content with mediocrity and the more likely I will be to do life my way. DANGER AHEAD! That should be what floods my mind when I start thinking about living life my way. It never turns out good, ever.

My deepest desire and the focus of my prayers regarding my career path was obedience. I did not want to do anything based on emotion, my desires. I wanted what's best for my family. But most importantly, I wanted to be obedient to God. I struggled. I wrestled. God was faithful. He answered.

I put in my two weeks at my current job on 3/14/12. I'm leaving behind a stable career with a good company to stay at home 3 days a week with Waylon. On paper, nothing makes sense. Some people question our decision. But when I close my eyes and say my prayers at night before I go to sleep, a peace overwhelms me, and I know I've made the right decision. Jesus reassures me that He is in control. And that's all that matters.